


Skyhunter

by Pearly_Pornography



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Depression, F/F, Human Experimentation, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-12-23 22:03:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11998848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearly_Pornography/pseuds/Pearly_Pornography
Summary: In a universe where some children are born with superpowers, the Tribunal has taken in some of them to perform experiments. But god knows what could happen when a young boy from Florida decides to make a run for it.





	1. To my dearest gentlemen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most recent meeting of the Tribunal.

"Gentlemen. Thank you for coming to this sudden meeting."

The Senator paced in front of a wide screen. "As we continue our project, already several people have entered. We've had six more subjects brought to our attention within the past month, which still require heavy testing."

"Six?" The General nearly stood up out of his chair. "You told me there were  _five_." 

"Yes, well. One of them brought baggage."

"A pet?"

"A sibling." The Senator continued, pacing in the other directions. "Though we had one runaway, the five we discussed prior may very well hold the key to this sudden phenomena."

"You say they are... quite impressive, yes?" The Cardinal had his fingertips pressed together, laying in wait. Anxious, like a tiger stalking its prey. The Senator nodded in response. "Excellent. Surely, if anyone, these children should respond to exorcism."

"Cardinal Ravenwood, there will be no exorcisms performed. These children are for purely scientific testing."

The Cardinal hunched over, defeated. The Senator continued. "Though we have discussed them minimally once or twice, it's my duty to give you their full introductions." He pulled a door open. The first one ran out, overexcited, before he was grabbed by a large guard. The rest slowly and tentatively filed out one by one. "Here are our newest subjects." The Father and a few others clapped in response. One of the littler ones, a scrawny brunette covered in scars, cracked a nervous smile.

"Ah, thanks yous, I--"

"No talking." The boy immediately shut his mouth. "...Gentlemen, Toki Wartooth. Male. 14 years old. We found him in Norway, and his parents immediately gave him up after he was caught communing with small animals. The religious folk believed he was possessed. He can speak any non-human language and communicate with all sorts of animals."

"Invertebrates as well?" The Father asked, intrigued.

"Indeed." The Senator walked away from the screen. "For evidence, me and the other boys will step aside for a moment." He motioned towards the remaining subjects, who scampered after him at varying speeds. Toki stood there like a deer in the headlights, as though he were about to have a heart attack. From behind a door, a cage was pulled into the center of the room, as a protective wall rose from the floor. The sweat beading on Toki's brow was obvious.

"What's in the cage, Stampingston?" The General stared at him quizzically.

"Isn't it obvious?" He rose a brow. "A tiger."

At the words, it looked as if Toki's heart stopped. The cage door opened and the guard backed out, allowing the enormous beast to slink out from the cramped space. Toki backed away. It was stalking him like a piece of meat.

"Calms- calms down!" 

He threw up his hands.

"...I amn'ts gon's to hurts you's." A tear rolled down his cheek. And then another. "I ams a friends." The tiger paused, seeming to size him up. "...Don'ts does nothin's you coulds regrets. I ams a friends, misters." The big cat growled. "Ah, missus. Sorries." It suddenly flopped down in front of him. Toki tentatively scratched it behind the ears, and suddenly it was rubbing its face into his hands like a domesticated housecat would.

"You see. If he didn't have these capabilities, he'd be dead right now." The Senator said it flatly.

"Impressive." The Father exclaimed. "But I suspect Mr. Salacia has seen enough." The Half-Man nodded. Another guard came in, blowing a tranquilizer dart into the gallant tiger's throat. Toki begged in a mix of English and Norwegian for the big, friendly kitty to stay, but they refused to listen. He was walked out of the protective dome, looking shaken, and defeated.

"Ams she goin's to be okays?"

He was ignored.

"Now as you may remember," The Senator continued, "I showed you all very impressive video footage of our subject from Sweden breaking through bulletproof glass with sound alone." The Tribunal all nodded. "Here he is. Introduce yourself, boy."

"My name ams Skwisgaar Skwigelfs." He looked tired, coiling his fingers in his soft, blonde hair. "I cans controls and manipsulates sounds. I plays guitars. I's 16, I's from Swedens, I comes here because I was--"

"He was a runaway. From home." The Senator interrupted him. "But the household neglect he suffered from caught up to him. He could barely even lift his head when we brought him in, if you believe it in the slightest."

"And? Is he going to display his powers here?"

"I'd shatters you's earsdrums." Skwisgaar held his head high, pointing his nose up. "I amn'ts ones to makes bad first impreshkins."

"Fair point. This one's a good one. A good listener." The Father cocked a smile.

"Pusschy."

Skwisgaar gave a look to one of the other boys. He looked much worse for wear, covered in marks and bruises. His hair was matted, and he looked tired. Even his teeth were all wrong. In comparison to the porcelain-like skin of the little Swede, it was like night and day. 

"What on earth happened to that one?"

"Ah yes. Step forward."

"You can't tell me what t' do, you old creep."

A sharp smack to the side from a guard changed his tune. He stepped forth.

"This is William Murderface. From Texas, male, given to us by his grandmother. 15 years old, harsh-tempered. Keeping him in place has been a challenge, especially due to his incredibly destructive powers. Gentlemen, this little boy can cause objects around him to spontaneously combust and explode. If put under great stress, he can set whole rooms on fire."

The Tribunal rose their eyebrows.

"I'd love to see him in action."

The Senator pushed him to the center of the room, where another protective wall rose. Higher than the last. It created a full glass dome above him.

"Thankfully, due to the safety equipment we have here, no harm will be done to us or the other subjects." William was surrounded by random objects. Mostly furniture. "This would also be a good time to give Skwisgaar a chance."

"I's rather nots."

Another smack. Skwisgaar grumbled, covering his side and shuffling to the glass dome. The two boys stared at each other.

"What're ya gonna do?  _Hit me_ _?"_

"Where's my guitors."

"We put the guitar away, just knock something over."

Skwisgaar grumbled, looking around. William was shaking, with his fingers clasped together. "There's vases. Hurry it up." Skwisgaar shrugged, reaching over and knocking down a vase. It made about a normal amount of noise within the dome, and sounded like nothing outside. "You use your powers when it hits the ground, dammit."

"...Olrights."

"As you can see, Skwisgaar is both very perceptive, and yet sound-resistant. We suspect his eardrums are stronger than that of a normal human." Skwisgaar grabbed onto a vase, throwing it down onto the ground. Even through the thick dome, it could be heard. The mere noise echoed, and broke glass lightbulbs and cups. William clapped his hands over his ears. The reverberations didn't seem to cease, and the clamor was so loud that even the Senator was plugging his ears.

Among the noise, there was one sound.

**_"Schtoppit!"_ **

Suddenly, a noisy crash rang out. A couch in the center of the room had, inexplicably, blown up. The hot cushion shrapnel flew everywhere, and Skwisgaar ducked beneath a splintered table. The glassy dome let out clicking sounds as the broken, half-melted couch springs clattered against it. As the dome lowered, the smoke was allowed to be released. Skwisgaar rose first, coughing  and hacking and wheezing.

"You stupids! You could's'a kills me!"

"Fuck you! It wasch too loud! Isch your fault!" Without warning, a hole blew in the glass wall. Hastily a tranquilizer dart was shot into William's neck, and he fell before more damage could be done. His limp body was dragged off to a corner. Skwisgaar followed behind.

"By god. It's worse than I could have anticipated." The Senator turned. "See, if left to their own devices, these mutated freaks could be menaces to society."

"You act as if anyone was debating that," the General retorted, rolling his eyes. "This  _thing_ is just proof of it."

"Don't calls us freaks, we's good peoples-- Ow!" Toki was given a thwack to the side. "...Sorries." 

"Gentlemen. Let's move on." The furniture mess was cleaned up hastily, and a redhead was tugged over. His arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed, he was looking at the Tribunal with rage in his eyes. "Now. This is Mary--"

"'s Pickles."

Pause. A figure poked his head out behind Pickles' head. "Muh cool brudder."

"...Dillon. Dillon Schumacher." The kid spoke. "Pickles is a nickname, it ain't my legal name. I mean- I mean, Dillon isn't my legal name either, but  _fuck that shit."_

"He's real cool."

"Yeh, yeh, Seth."

"Real cool."

"Shshsh."

"...Right." The Senator grunted. " _Dillon Schumacher._ Female, male-identifying. 17 years old, from Wisconsin. We found him on the run with his younger brother Seth Schumacher. They had two options. Come with us, or go back with their parents." Pickles wrinkled his nose. "Now, Mar-- Dillon." The Senator cleared his throat. "Dillon has the ability to manifest and control fires from the oxygen in the air. Like so." He motioned towards Pickles, who shrugged.

"Do I gotta?"

"Yes."

Pickles grumbled, blowing slightly. The air he blew quickly turned into fire, very real fire. The flares grew and grew, and he turned his head, waving the flames like a lightshow. He turned his head, shooting the fire into the Senator's tie. A guard hastily poured water over his head. Pickles grinned.

"Hehe."

"Hit him."

Another thwack. "And the brother." Seth immediately fell over on contact, landing face-first. "...Never do that again."

"Ow, my shins." Pickles hauled his little brother back up to his feet, who immediately nudged his face in Pickles' shirt. "And don't hit kids, 's a crappy thing to do. Even if he's a li'l bastard, he ain't hurtin' nobody."

"I must ask what the littler one can do." The Father pointed at Seth, who quickly ducked behind Pickles once more. "You would have left him if he weren't mutated, correct?"

"Yes, yes. While he isn't worth displaying, he does have a mutation. When the human body exerts itself, cells go through a process known as  _lactic acid fermentation."_

"Yeah, Stampingston." The General furrowed his brows. "I think we all took bio in high school."

"I didn't." The Cardinal muttered.

"Well," The Senator resumed his speech, "this child's body uses a different form of fermentation. Alcoholic fermentation." The General squinted. "When this boy goes through physical exertion such as exercising or running, he essentially gets drunk over time."

"You're kidding me." The General guffawed. "This kid gets drunk from basic gym class shit?"

"I'm afraid it's true. Though his power is of no use to anyone, he refused to leave his brother's side. Couldn't pry him off no matter how hard we tried, so we just took him with us instead. Besides, leaving him in normal society would be inhumane with such a disability."

Seth stuck his tongue out.

"Fuck you."

"If you're gonna keep the little bastard, you might wanna discuss  _discipline."_

"Now now, General Crozier. He may be brash, but he can't do anything in the long run. Step back, now, you two."

"But Pickles din't even getta show you how he toasts marshmallows!"

"Hush." The Senator quipped. "And the last one. Step forward."

Silence.

"Step forward, I said." Still nothing. "Oh, for the love of-- is he even out here?"

"He ducked back into the sideroom."

"Then get him out of there."

"Maybe he ain't social." Pickles shrugged. "Hey, uhhh... Emo Kid! C'mon out, ain't gonna get hurt or nuthin' if ya do. I don't want ya to get smacked in th' shins with a nightstick!" There was a distant grunting, but still nothing. "I guess he don't wanna." A guard threw the door open, dragging the last boy out by the back of his hospital gown. The door was locked behind him and he was released, scampering into a far corner.

"...Now this is Nathan Explosion. Male, 16 years old, from Florida." Nathan curled up in the corner, drawing his knees up to his chest. "Almost entirely nonverbal and refuses to be touched. We managed to get him out of his home with parental consent. Contacting them will be discussed later." The Senator motioned towards him. "He was found having what appeared to be unprompted epileptic seizures, which turned out to be precognitive hallucinations."

"For a hallucination to be as painful as a seizure... this one must be possessed." The Cardinal pointed directly at him.

"We'll see." The Senator was clearly taking the Cardinal's words with a grain of salt. "Though it's not possible to force a precognition, we do have brain scans from the past. As you can see, the activity goes up in wild peaks at random times."

Nathan shied away further, curling up like a turtle. He whimpered. He covered his eyes. "These five more than make up for the one person we lost through the course of this project." The boys were hastily escorted out, with varying levels of resistance. The Senator sighed. "We've hardly even run any sort of tests on these boys. The possibilities they may carry for the future of curing these mutations are nearly limitless."

"You have heavy faith in these ones, Senator." The Father cocked a brow. "Don't you think that with mutants this powerful, something could go wrong?"

"If anything goes south, we'd ought to intervene." The General smacked his hands on the desk.

"No." The Half-Man spoke. "We do not intervene. Just watch."


	2. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys meet their fellow subjects.

"Welcome to your new home."

The guard had a low voice. He practically shoved the boys in. "All of your belongings are in your rooms. It's dinner right now. Go down to the cafeteria." And he was gone as soon as he entered. In fact, he was gone before Toki could even ask how to get to the cafeteria.

"...You gots any clues how to goes gets foods?"

Nobody responded. Skwisgaar had already taken off, in fact. "Oh, uh, byes Smiskis." ...Shoot, that wasn't his name. "Anyones wants to comes to lunch wit' mes?" He reached out, grabbing onto Nathan's shoulder. Before he could even make his proposition, Nathan flinched and backed away, running off down the hall. "...Sorries! Uh, Pickle, you wants to--"

"Naht really." Pickles shrugged, taking his little brother's hand and shuffling away.

"...Williams?"

"Fuck off."

"Williams, you coulds gets lost if you's goes arounds by you-selfs." 

"I won't get  _loscht._ I'm not fucking five yearsch old." William skittered away, and Toki was left alone. His chest hurt. And he had no clue where he was going, and he wasn't even all that hungry. Though he hadn't eaten in awhile. It was pretty much fine! He'd gone longer periods of time without food. Weeks. Months, even.

"Hey squirt."

Toki turned, nearly falling over.  _Jesus, that scared the shit out of him._ The guy greeting him was tall as shit. Scrawny, though. Like a stick. His hair was bad and his eyes were weird, and he had gums the size of his teeth. "Lookin' lost there, need a hand?"

"Ah, nos, I's fines."

"C'mon. I couldn't hurt a fly, even if I do look like I run a porn site on the deep web."

"Whassats means."

"...Uh, nevermind." He quirked a brow. "But if it makes you feel better, I will literally not even touch you."

"I, uh..." Toki scratched the back of his neck. "I walks wit' you's, I guess." The guy smiled and nodded, motioning towards Toki and walking down the hallway, towards a long flight of stairs. "By de ways, what ams you's, uh... names."

"Dick Knubbler."

"Likes- likes a  _pebis?"_

"No! It's short for Richard! Jesus."

"Nice to meets you, Dickards. I's Tokis Wartooths, I's from Norways, my favorites food ams foods, I cans talks to animals, I's scares a' the darks and ensclosed spaces, I likes warm rooms an' bunnies an' I's happies to meets you, I's happies to be here, I's--"

"Happy? To be  _here?_ Damn, your life outside must've been terrible."

"I's tolds they's gonna fix me. So my parents ands de peoples in my village dones goin's to likes me again."

"Fix? The dumbshits workin' here couldn't fix... their way out of a wet paper bag."

"Dat amn'ts true. Dey tells me sos."

"They tells you wrong, pal." Dick shoved a hand into his pocket, popping out a cigarette and a lighter in the shape of a fire extinguisher. He flicked the silly little thing and lit the cigarette, huffing smoke out into the hall. "But enough of that, let's look into getting some food in your face."

"Oh, uh, t'anks you's." 

"Just follow me, squirt."

Dick led him down the hall and to a long flight of upward stairs. Two flights later, and they were on the ground level of the building. Then they went down another array of halls, all of which were bare aside from graffiti and the like. The entrance to the cafeteria was wide, but the room itself wasn't very big. In fact, it was surprisingly homey, with a kitchen area and a long table. "They give out meals, but you can make your own food if you feel like it."

Toki shuddered, staring at all of the people he'd have to meet. Normally he'd leap to the opportunity to make new friends, but these folks didn't seem all too personable. Dick was licking his lips over a stack of pancakes and a cup of... water? Toki looked at it, but was immediately pushed back by the smell.

"Jeezums, what ams dat?"

"Pancakes, it's breakfast time."

"I means de waters cups, it smells like gasklolines."

"Oh, this?" He shrugged. "Vodka. They let you drink anything if they can collect data off of it." His grin grew wider. "Or at least, they kinda gave up on stopping me when they realized I could see right through the padlock on the liquor cabinet."

"Oh, rights! Ams dat you's powers?"

"Yup. Super-enhanced x-ray vision. I can see things from the surface level to the deepest internal level." He took a sip of the vodka. "Nearly got my leg blown off in a test after mistaking a land mine for a rock, but that was on me."

"La... lansmines?"

"Explosives that're buried underground."

Toki swallowed. "They need me to figure out if I can see 'em underground."

"...Well, dat ams pretty cools. I can talks to animals."

"Come on, get some food and sit down. I think Charles kind of went to town on the breakfast food."

Toki grinned nervously, plopping a few eggs on a white plate and sitting down next to Dick. Though he could hardly call their relationship one of sincere trust, so far Dick was the only person who he'd held an elongated conversation with. Sitting across from them was a boy and a girl, both about Dick's age. The boy had his hair slicked flat and he wore a suit. The only thing before him was a cup of coffee. The girl, on the other hand, was all dark. Dark hair, dark skin, dark clothes, dark lipstick. The only exception were her piercing green eyes. She had a variety of different foods sort of piled together.

"Hey guys."

"Hello." The girl muttered. "I'm assuming you're about to introduce this kid right here."

"Yeah, this's--"

"Toki Wartooth." She held out a hand over the table. "I'm Abigail Remeltindrinc. If you can't remember my last name, just say 're-melt in drink'. Like ice. It doesn't really help, actually." She sighed. Toki opened his mouth, and she continued. "My power is that I know exactly what people are going to say, right before they say it."

"...Hellos, n-nice to meets you's."

"Charles. Charles." Abigail nudged the one in the suit. "Charles. Charles!"

"Hm? Oh, ah, sorry." He adjusted his tie. "I'm Charles Offdensen. I was granted the gift of, ah... superior stamina and durability."

"Yeah, that's why you lived when ya fell out that window." Dick made a snorting noise.

"I didn't fall out a window, I deliberately pushed myself out of it."

"Fuckin'  _lighten up a little."_

Charles pinched the bridge of his nose and returned to reading his book. "Hey, Toki, do you know the other sons of bitches who showed up here? They all seem real fuckin' sour."

"Oh, uh, not reallies. We comes here togedders froms different branchkes across dem worlds." Toki scratched the back of his neck. "I only knows 'em for a weeks and nones of dems wants to talks to mes all dat much. Dis main branch amn'ts very bigs, thoughs."

"We normally have like, three more."

"Technically only one." Abigail corrected.

"Oh, yeah." Dick grumbled. "Damn. I miss Eric."

"You're weirdly calm about the fact that he's fucking dead."

Toki nearly spat his drink.  _Dead?_ In a maximum-security lab house it hardly seemed possible. What could he have done? Was it poor fumigation, or alcohol poisoning? He sunk into his chair. It must've been an accident, but still, the paranoia set in like a heavy blanket.

"I mean, it's not like it's the first time someone's died here, there was that one kid."

"Oh, yeah."

"And Becca kind of had to get carried out of here in a forever coma."

"D-dat don'ts happens too oftens, rights?" Toki could feel shakes in his bones. Dick looked at him, and his expression twisted.

"Shit. Uh, no, not really, otherwise there wouldn't be a project."

"Technically Becca just fell down a few flights of stairs." Abigail added. "Because of those awful chunky heels she used to wear." It was at least half the weight off of Toki's shoulders, though he certainly didn't feel all that much better.

"Besides, it's nothing to worry about yet, you guys don't have to do testing for like, a few days. Y'know, get settled in, just doing basic regular daily shit."

"Jesus, Dick, leave it to you to scare the shit out of everyone who comes in here."

"I can't help it."

"Whatever. Toki. As soon as we finish with food, I'm gonna be showing you around." Toki opened his mouth to ask, and Abigail interrupted. "I'm the designated guide for all of the newcomers. Charles is too awkward and Dick's too incompetent."

"And Magnus was too much of a douche."

"He also isn't here, so they'd have to pick a new one anyway." Abigail pushed out of her seat. "I think I'm done, so I'll be meeting all of you in the common room at exactly 11 sharp. Try not to be late or I might leave without you by accident."

Toki nervously shoveled an egg into his mouth.

"Okays."


	3. Double-Decker Times Square Tour Bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail's welcome wagon.

"Hello, my name is Abigail Remeltindrinc." Her voice was as flat as ever. "I'm here to give you a tour around the facilities. If you have any questions, you must raise your hand and wait for me to call on you. Any questions."

William rose his hand. "You."

"Why'sch a girl gotta show usch around? Girlsch are dumb."

"You'd best not say that to any of the female  _doctors."_

"Why not?!"

"'cause they have tasers."

That shut him up immediately, his face going paler than a sheet. "I've seen the bad end of those things. Not only is it not fun, but it leaves marks even uglier than your pockmarks." He backed away, skulking to the back end of the group. "Anything else?" Silence. "Alright, let's go. Toki, keep up." Toki was holding onto her hand, since everyone else seemed kind of hostile, and he was really nervous about this whole thing. 

They shuffled out of the main hall, to an elevator. "Technically this thing's for handicapped people, but there's only one here, and he hardly even leaves his room." Abigail shrugged. "Nobody on staff gives a damn anyway."

"Where's we goin's." Skwisgaar curled his lip.

"Dorm hall." They all huddled into the elevator, too close and tightly packed like a bunch of sardines. Within seconds William began screaming. "You. Gremlin boy, what's the matter."

"Nathan'sch too closche to me!"

"Can't help it." Nathan growled, his hands clapped over his ears. "No space."

"Issch gay! Schtoppit!"

Nathan roughly punched him across the jaw, and he fell into Toki. A tooth loosened, he spread fresh blood on Toki's hospital gown, the ground shaking from a distant explosion. Before William could return the blow, Abigail shushed them both.

"Stop, you two."

The elevator stopped with it. Slowly the group filed out, Nathan covering his ears with his hands and William nursing his sore cheek. "Let me show you your rooms. This gives me a chance to break into the men's wing and see if Charles owns any weird porn." She grinned. Toki grinned back.

"Ews, gross!" 

"Just kidding. We won't be going in there." Abigail pushed into a pale blue door. "Luckily there's a lot of turnover at this place, so you guys don't have to share rooms yet. Your names should be on the doors. Feel free to get anything you need before we go."

"Wait."

Abigail turned.

"Yes, tiny boy?"

"There ain't no room for my brudder."

"What's your brother's name."

"Pickles."

"Ehh, iss Dillon, technically." Pickles pushed past his brother. "And, uh, 's ain't a shock fer me." 

"'s fuckin' ridiculous. You said y'had free rooms up the ass."

 _"Seth."_ Pickles chided. "I'm sahrry about 'im. But, uh, maybe we could... make some kind of arrangement, or..."

"Where is your room, Dillon." Abigail squinted. "You didn't break in, right?"

"No! I jest..." He bit his lip and tugged at his sleeve. "You can't tell nobody, c'mere--"

"Ah, I see." Abigail nodded, backing up. "I'm sure there's somewhere you can put up a new nameplate in here. You can always share with your little brother if need be." Pickles quirked a brow, but nodded, giving her a nervous smile. 

"...Okey."

"Hey lady." William scowled. "Could you help me with schomethin'."

"...Yes." Abigail pinched her nosebridge. "What is it."

"Why isch there  _blood_ on my mattressch." Silence fell over the room immediately. Toki's eyes widened.  _Blood?_ There was no way. Clutching Abigail's hand, he was pulled into the little room. William had unceremoniously pulled the fitted sheet back, and old, dark stains blotched across the surface.

"It's nothing."

"Bullshit."

"Goddamnit." She looked at the stains, lip curled in annoyance. "That stupid asshole."

"Did schomeone die in here."

"No."

"...Period?"

"No. It was Magnus."

"Woh, dat ams a cool names." Toki tacked onto her sentence. "Does he lives here?"

"He kind of left."

"Lefts?"

"Some people say he climbed over the barbed wire and coiled it around himself. So he could use his blood to defend himself. He was  _hemokinetic."_

"Ohhh..."

"Yeah. So if you see a lot of blood. That was- that was probably him, and nobody bothered to clean his shit."

"Wow." Seth blinked. "He climbed over  _barbed wire?_ "

"Yup."

"That's fuckin' sick as hell."

"He was a moron. Being  _brave_ or  _moral_ or whatever is useless if you're also a moron." Seth opened his mouth, but quickly shut it once more, as Abigail was staring directly into his eyes. "Let's get moving already."

-

"These are the testing facilities."

Toki stared. They were small. White rooms with one glass wall on two sides. The glass walls had little holes, and behind the far wall was a set of desks. They were fixed with machines that Toki had never seen before in his life, and other strange objects. Chairs, furniture, playing cards, brain scanners, more bloodstains. (As they passed the bloody cell, Abigail grumbled Magnus' name under her breath.) "You'll have to come here pretty often. They always give you clear instructions and stuff. It's easy."

_"Eight of clovers."_

Toki recognized that voice. That was, uh... Dick! 

"Oh, hey." Abigail peered through the glass. In the desks on the opposite side, this time, were some people in lab coats. One of them was also sitting in front of Dick, who was hooked up to... something. 

"What ams he doin's?"

"Seeing through cards. With his x-ray vision. Testing."

"What's dose t'ings attached to hims?"

"Electrodes."

Toki had no idea what those were. "Let's move on before he does something stupid." She motioned towards the group, ushering them out of the testing hall as fast as she could. The others followed right behind her, Toki still tightly clutching her hand. They made their way not far down the hall, to the lunchroom Toki was just in. Still as homey as before, with the nice little table and the kitchen and the embroidered pictures on the walls. A stranger was sitting at the table by himself.

"Oh hi deres--"

"No." Abigail shushed him. "Edgar hates people." She pulled Toki aside, with the other boys scuttling behind her, a few exchanging Mr. Edgar a strange look or two. He didn't even raise his head from his cinnamon bun. "All of the cabinets are marked. So whatever you want should be easy to find. If you're too short, which most of you are, just ask Dick to get stuff for you."

"I'm hungry."

"No eating between mealtimes."

William swore under his breath. "The classrooms are on the third floor. The room numbers are on every door... yeah... I'm tired. Can you guys just figure out where everything else is?"

"Y--"

"Alright, thanks." Abigail yawned, shuffling away. "Byyyyeee."


	4. Pillsbury Dough Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get to know one another.

"Lemme tell you, kid," Dick said with a cigarette hanging from his lips. "the best way to get to know people is by playin' 'Never Have I Ever'."

It was his second day in this weird place. The bed-springs felt like they punctured his back. His spine was killing him, and considering the way Dick had his palm on his sacrum, Toki assumed he wasn't the only one with this issue. (Poor William popped out of his room with a back-brace that morning.)

But that was then. Now Toki was sitting in the hall with toast and jam on a plate, Dick puffing smoke out next to him. "You say you've never done somethin' and they have to, uh... fuck, I forget if they're supposed to lower a finger if they have done it or if they haven't."

"Whats happens when you runs outta fingers?"

"...Actually, don't play that game." 

"Oh..." Toki sighed, taking a bite of his toast. He'd never had toast with jam on it. He hadn't even eaten toast, just bread. The jam was sweet, like raw sugar. "...I wants to be friends wit' dems others. I feels alien... ah... aliens-ateds."

"Bitch, I know the feeling." Dick leaned his head back. "Elementary school, man. They find out you're so broke you gotta eat paste, and you never live it down."

"What ams paste?"

"Flour and water."

"Sounds nasties."

"You'll eat anythin' that doesn't cost a dime when you're in the shitter."

"...Sorries."

"It  _was_ pretty nasty though. Got stuck in your teeth."

"...How does I introducts myselfs?"

"Just be like. 'Hi, I'm Toki. Pleased to meet you.' Or somethin'. It worked for me."

"Whats if dey tells me to fucks off?"

"Usually that means they're lonely, so do the exact opposite."

"I's not so sures."

"Here's an idea. Try bringing someone a cinnamon bun."

"...Likes de ones Abigail dones makes from dat Pibsberries tubes?"

"Yeah. Say something like, 'Dick gave me a cinnamon bun, but I didn't want it. You can have it if you want.'"

"Wow. Dat seems likes a good ideas."

"Go. Run like the wind. Don't be scared to use the icing liberally."

"'tanks you!"

-

One over-frosted cinnamon bun. One chance. He stared into the dining room and locked onto William like a heat-seeking missile. His toes carried him over to the far end of the table, where William was sitting, hunched over with his fingers knitted together.

"Heys!"

William shot up, turning quickly and smacking Toki across the face. The bun fell to the ground.

"...I'm schorry."

William dropped to the floor, lowering down on his hands and knees. Toki felt physically ill, watching him try to gnaw at the sugary pastry on the floor. His hazel-green eyes downcast, and his dirty nails scraping the tiles. He chewed it and swallowed it. Toki tugged at the back of his hospital gown.

"Don'ts eats dat offs de floor, I gets a new one."

"Why are you grabbin' my collar?!" William shuddered, tears in his eyes. "Shut up! I know you were gonna forsche me ta do it!"

"...I was goin's to gives it to you."

"Yeah right." He stood, wiping the crumbs from his face. "You wouldn't give me  _jack shit._ You all hate me."

"How cans I hates you if I don'ts even knows you?"

"Everyone elsche doesch."

Toki felt like he'd just been stabbed. How could  _everybody_ hate  _one kid_ _?_

"Well, I doesn't."

William grumbled, scraping frosting off of his face.

"Whatever. You done laughing or you gonna go away?"

"I, uh..." Dick's words rung out in his head.  _If he tells you to fuck off, that means he's lonely._ "I be rights backs." 

"Where are ya goin'?!"

"Someplace."

His feet went fast and he ran to the kitchen. The tray with the cinnamon buns still had three left, but hardly any frosting to go on it. Toki stared, and then dove into the cabinets, and found the motherload: A can of Kool Whip, the contents still half-full. With shaky, excited hands, he dropped a messy dollop of the whipped cream concoction onto the cinnamon bun, and then sprinkled a bit of  cinnamon powder on top. He then put it on a dish, and swore on his life not to drop it.

Finding his way back to William was troublesome, because he had taken to the common room instead. Toki found him crying into his knees, and wordlessly set the dish next to him on the plush, mauve sofa. William peeked out from behind his thighs, eyes bright red.

"...What isch it."

"I brings you a new cinnamons bun. Dey was outs of de frostings so I puts whip goo on it."

William looked at him, wiping his face with his palm. He stuck his finger in the cream, and licked his finger, eyes wide with hunger and astonishment. "Do it tastes goods? I din'ts test it, wants to saves it for you."

"Y...yeah."

His hands grabbed onto the sweet treat, and he shoved it down his throat like he hadn't eaten in forty years.

"...Feels better?"

"Why are you being nische to me."

"...'cause I wants to be your friends."

William squinted at him. "I t'inks you ams nice an' interestin's."

"...You better not be fuckin' wif me."

"I amn'ts, I swears on my lifes."

"...Fine." He shoved the remainder of the cinnamon bun in his mouth, scraping the cream off his face and licking it. "If you're lyin' I'll kill you where you schtand. I'll fucking kill you if you lie to me. You hear me?" Toki gulped and nodded. "...Bye bye, friend."

What a nice boy.


End file.
